Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
