I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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