he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize