I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
