Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
