so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
