Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
