The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
