I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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