There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
