You're completely useless in the revolution.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
