So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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