i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize