Nicole vs. Life
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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