You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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