whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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