I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
