At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
