even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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