Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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