I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize