if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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