The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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