this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize