he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
