ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize