Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
that may or may not have been my penis.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
