no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
