Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So much Jack, so little girl.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
