Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
