I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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