Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
