So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
