Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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