I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
