If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
