Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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