p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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