I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
