do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
