In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
