i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
