Me too!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
