Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
