that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
