So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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