I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize