Plan B is the new Plan A
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize