dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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