I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
