Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
this hospital has no fireball
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
