I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
