We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
