I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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