yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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