careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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