At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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