How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize