she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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