What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
