those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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