All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize