I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
