You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
