chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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