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do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
