It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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