since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
