I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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