Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
