three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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