i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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