MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
