I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize