even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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