So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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