I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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